On 16 Sept , as usual after i woke up , i head down to the living room to look for my dad for breakfast. And that is when my dad deliver the bad news.
He inform us that grandma pass away that morning at around 6am.
According to aunty kim , grandma woke up around 4am for toilet break and around 6am when my aunty went to wake her up , she has already pass away.
All of us did not expect her to pass away so suddenly.
The news hit my dad quite badly. On Friday night , i just commented to my dad that he should fly back to Kelantan to visit my grandma since is a long weekend.
I also brought air tickets (paid quite expensive for it ) to fly back to Kelantan in Oct with Hannah and Marcus to visit her.
I still remember that the last time i talk to grandma on the phone was on the 27 Aug 2016 and i remember telling her about Hannah and telling her that i am visiting her together with Hannah in Oct. During the conversation , she seems fine even tot she slightly out of breath.One of my biggest regrets is she did not meet Hannah.
When i was back during Cheng Beng in April , she ask me to bring baby back for her to see and i told her i will do that. It really sadden me that she miss the chance by few weeks.
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What happen to grandma hit me hard . TIME WAITS FOR NO MEN.
When things like this happens , we tend to have regrets ..like for me , I ask myself :
- why didn't i book my air tickets during confinement ?
- why didn't i call her more often ?
- why didn't i print out the photos like she requested ?
This is the last family photo that we take together . Every year , she will insist that we take a family photo and also every year she ask me why i did not print out the photo taken last year .
The first year when we did took the family portrait , i did print out and she keep it frame up on the cabinet next to her usual afternoon chair.
This year during chinese new year when she asked again , i told myself that i will print out and give it to her in Oct. But now i guess she never get to see this photo anymore.
Life is just so short and we do not know when God decide to take us back .I got so caught up with my own life in Penang that i forgotten about the loves ones around me .
Grandma passing on makes me take a step back to think back why i work so hard for.
I told myself that i should not repeat this mistake with my parents. They are already near to 60 years old and you never know how long they will still be active and healthy.
Ah Mah,
Thank you for taking care of me when i was younger. I still remember when i was 4-5years old , you will scold us and chase us around the house with a lidi. I remember you happily cook my kau jam or kiam kuih. When i was 8 years old , you scolded me when i naughtily stick the chopstick in the rice bowl. I am sorry that i did not manage to bring my baby to see you but i am glad that your last wish to stay in kampung cina house finally fulfilled.
Good bye ah mah ..
ah yong ...
